Imposters claiming to be "Paul M. Hirsch"

It has come to my attention that others are "fronting" as if they were the REAL Paul M. Hirsch. The following individuals are not The Real Paul M. Hirsch®:

• Paul M. Hirsch of Canton, OH - Seems like a decent fellow. He is a web designer with a few small companies of his own. Not too shabby. Unfortunately, he has one problem: He is using MY name. (Well, that and he has been consulting for ever-evil Diebold, Inc., makers of the touch screen vote fixing machines we all love.) Sure, he claims to be older than I am. Fooey to that! I am The Real Paul M. Hirsch®!
• Paul M. Hirsch of Northwestern University, IL(why are they all in the Midwest? Give me some elbow room!) - This guy is the "James L. Allen Distinguished Professor of Strategy and Management and Organizations, Kellogg School of Management". Blah, blah, blah. I am sure he is a great guy. Except for one little problem. Can you guess what that is? No, it is not that bussiness schools give me the willies. Here is a hint: What's my name? Can you guess his problem? SMACK! Gold star on your head! He is not The Real Paul M. Hirsch®! He is a professor. Why doesn't he just change his name to Professor I.Q.? Heck, I already hacked the Cook County records department and submitted a name change for him. All he has to do is ok the forms and he is all set. Think about it "Paul M. Hirsch".
• Paul Hirsch "Film Editor" - Well, he doesn't have the middle initial M, but I felt I had to include this imposter. Once again, seems nice. Supposedly he is a film editor, though he must stick to independent films. ("Star Wars". I think that did well at the Toronto Film Festival a few years back.) If he ever does make it big, I hope he uses P. Hirsch or something instead.